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This is part one of a three-part John/Sherlock fanmix.

Inspired by the brilliant work of suchaprince and mad_teagirl 

Now with a proper download link with endless thanks to the lovely people mentioned above:)


I also did some bits of fic, since they were lurking as I started making this mix. I am also incapable of making a short mix, yes..lol

John's POV is unrequired and full of angst, and Sherlock's will be similar since I revel in things dark. But I assure you there will be a further part with things resolved.  


1. So He Won't Break--The Black Keys
2.  Sanctuary--Annette Ducharme
3.  Teardrop--Massive Attack
4.  Ulalume--Edgar Allen Poe (As read by Jeff Buckley)
Cross Road Blues--Robert Johnson
6.  With Twilight As My Guide-- The Mars Volta
7.  88 Ways--Mia Doi Todd
8.  Life is a Gun--Jay Malinowski
9.  Bonfire—Lamb
10. Soldier's Things--Holly Cole Trio
11. The Islander—Nightwish
12. Ghost--Depeche Mode
13. Lost in the Stars--Martin L. Gore
14. Falling Apart--Neverending White Lights Feat. Bed of Stars
15. Anywhere on This Road—
16. No Bold Villan--Timber Timbre
17. Wild Soul--Casey Stratton (Orchestral Version)
18. Are You the One That I've Been Waiting For?--
Nick Cave
19. Lost and Found--Michael Nyman (The Piano Sountrack)
20. Brandy Alexander--Ron Sexsmith
21. Bonnie and
Clyde II--Martina Sorbara
22. City of
Night--Pink Martini
23. So Political--Spirit of the West
24. Words--Darren Hayes
25. Silent My Song--Lykke Li
26. Flames—Vast
27. Mongrel Heart--Broken Bells
28. The Hunter Gets Captured by the Game--Massive Attack Feat. Tracey Thorn
29. You and I--Jeff Buckley
30. The Birds Will Still Be Singing--Elvis Costello and the Brodsky Quartet
31. Wa Habibi (Beloved)--Kronos Quartet



1.  So He Won't Break--The Black Keys

"And you know the difference it makes
And you know the difference it takes
Is love, so he won't break"

"Harry? I know you're in here. Mum's gone, she--"

The wood-laminate panel in the closet slides away and Harry crawls though, hyperventallating.

John bends down and she crawls into his lap. He whispers words he doesn't believe into his sister's damp hair.

2.  Sanctuary--Annette Ducharme

"Can I have fudge AND caramel sauce?" Harry asks.

"Sure. You can have marshmallow topping too, if it won't make you sick."
John smiles and it feels like his face is peeling away. He can't let it, not here.

"I think those two over there are up to something." John tells her as they dig in to their sundaes. He points at the couple two tables back, glancing furtively around them.

"Maybe they're spies!" Harry leans over the table and tells him.

She almost sounds happy. John thinks Harry should be. Not six going on 30.  Here, there is light and too much sugar. And the hope that someone else has a life darker than theirs.

3.  Teardrop--Massive Attack

John can hear the pipes ticking the hours in the walls, and smell bleach through the bedroom door as mum scrubs the floors. Harry is a solid weight beside him, arms wrapped around his ribs so he can't move. He stares out at the street lamp through the window until his eyes burn. He falls asleep.

4.  Ulalume--Edgar Allen Poe (As read by Jeff Buckley)

John's wool suit is itchy, and Harry can't stand still in her starched black dress. John is grateful that mum waited until he was 18, so at least they don't have to go into care. Their aunt and uncle will take them in all the same. John has a job lined up at the shop down the street. He and Harry are not charity cases. The drone of people speaking at the lecturn makes him grit his teeth.

All he wants to do is take Harry for icecream, and leave all the "It was too soon," and "you poor things," behind. John wants to stab them with the pen in his pocket, but he knows that won't help. He'll be fine.  But Harry. God, Harry.

5.  Cross Road Blues--Robert Johnson

He hears the jaw break with his punch, and a mad grin spreads over his face. The bully's friends pull John away from the arse on the ground before he can finish the job to his nose. There is a high-pitched squeal coming from the man's shattered mouth.

John shoves off the two idiots holding him. They back away from the look he gives them. He kneels down to whisper in the whining man's ear.

"Go near my sister again, and all the surgeons in London won't be able to scrape you back together."

He leans back and watches the man scrabble feebly away from him.

6.  With Twilight As My Guide-- The Mars Volta

"There must be something you want to do John."

John's aunt Sara looks so concerned. Like she can save him. He almost snorts at that. What does he want to do besides get the hell out of this city?

"Well, there might be one thing I could try." He answers.

7.  88 Ways--Mia Doi Todd

Eighty-eight ways to build and destroy
I fuel my decay. I trample my joy
O, what should I be in this world so self-destructing
O, what should I be in this world so self-constructing

"Watson! Get over here and demonstrate a lambert stitch since you don't need to pay attention to the lecture."

John walks over to the cadaver and takes the needle and thread, ignoring the sniggers around him.

"How'd you do that so fast?" Someone says beside him. He never bothers to learn their names. He is leaving in a month, after all.

"I just do." He doesn't tell them how he practiced at home on himself and Harry.  If there's one thing he's good at it's putting things back together. He's always known how they're taken apart.

8.  Life is a Gun--Jay Malinowski

"You won't need to use it if I have anything to say about it Watson, but I'm glad you're so comfortable."

John thinks his combat training officer was overly optimistic when he said that.  He pushes his back against the crumbling stone wall as the richocheting machine gun fire around him clogs his lungs with sand.

9.  Bonfire--Lamb

John tightens the tourniquet over Hanson's leg with one arm, ignoring the fire in his own shattered clavicle. He can feel the thick coating of blood making his jacket stick to his chest. It's irrelevant right now.

"John. You're hit. Did you realize?"

John peers up at the nurse, who is trying to peel away his jacket. He shrugs her off and lets them take Hanson out on a stretcher first.

"I did, yeah. More important things to do at the time." John sees the world narrow to a fine grey point.

10.  Soldier's Things--Holly Cole Trio

He folds his trousers and shirts, leaning down on them visciously enough to make the cot creak. He jabs the palm of his hand on the glint of metal at the bottom of the suitcase. Great piece of hardware to tell him he's useless. John drops the last piece in and closes the case. He can still imagine the jagged piece of stone sitting in the suitcase when he leaves the room. Funny how far that bit of wall made it into his shoulder.

11.  The Islander--Nightwish

It's a clear day and he can see ocean for hours before they hit London. Trading sand for water. John shivers and draws the tiny airplane blanket around him.

12.  Ghost--Depeche Mode

I'm the ghost in your house
Calling your name
My memory lingers
You'll never be the same

John wakes up to his fingers miming stitches on the sheets. His nose is filled with the smell of fire and blood. He stares at the ceiling, remembering a canvas tent.

13.  Lost in the Stars--Martin L. Gore

"But I've been walking through the night and the day
Till my eyes get weary and my hair turns grey"

"The bowls aren't as big as I remember."

"Well you're a bit more than six Harry."

"Everything can't be fixed wtih three kinds of topping can it John? Clara's gone."

"Harry I--"

"Don't bother. You had better things to do halfway across the world didn't you?" Harry slams her spoon down and walks away.

John watches the ice cream melt, and swirls his spoon around in the mess until it turns muddy.

14.  Falling Apart--Neverending White Lights Feat. Bed of Stars

He's started carrying it wherever he goes now. His hands smell like metal and oil. John thinks he should probably be worried about that.

15.  Anywhere on This Road--Lhasa

I love this hour
When the tide is just turning
There will be an end
To the longing and yearning
If i can stand up
To angels and men
I’ll never get swallowed
In darkness again

John doesn't know why Mike bothered. He barely speaks to anyone now. But he admits to himself that Sherlock's manic energy stirs something in him.


16.  No Bold Villan--Timber Timbre

"One of us is not normal
and it might not be you"

"John, where is my--"

"Third row on the bookshelf by the window, behind the violet."

"How did you know what I meant?" Sherlock grabs his magnifier off the shelf. He wraps his scarf around his neck and stares at John.

"You have that gleam in your eye. Always means a case."

"John Watson sometimes you astound me."

Johns breath stops for a minute, then he recovers. "Well, I better get my coat." He turns away from the light on Sherlock's face.

17.  Wild Soul--Casey Stratton (Orchestral Version)

There are three experiments ongoing in the flat. One of them is creating its own light. John isn't sure about the toxic effects of the gas coming from the other two. All he wants is a cup of tea.

"Sherlock, what the bloody hell is--"

Sherlock grabs John's arm and drags him into the sitting room. "Never mind that, we have a case!! I may be able to test the effects of mumification on living tissue! Although I am unsure if anyone will volunteer as a subject."

Sherlock beams at him and John forgets the tea. John follows Sherlock out the door, smile spreading over his face.

18.  Are You the One That I've Been Waiting For?--Nick Cave

John hasn't been this out of air since he was deployed. He leans againt the wall and grins at Sherlock. He remembers what it is to breathe.

19.  Lost and Found--Michael Nyman (The Piano Sountrack)

When he opens the cupboard for jam and finds the jar of scorpions he doesn't flinch. At least the lid seems secure. He pours the tea and drops a plate of toast on Sherlock's chest.

Sherlock briefly opens his eyes and mumbles "Thank you John."

20.  Brandy Alexander--Ron Sexsmith

But do I thirst for all the worst again?
Is it my addiction to this curse within?
Silently I must confess this sin
Tastes better after juice and gin

"No, I had no idea that we were causing an international incident. You realise Sherlock doesn't tell me half of what's going on, right?" John has his face buried in his hands. He can hear Lestrade tapping a finger on his desk.

Lestrade sighs. "Yes, I know." His phone rings. "What? No I don't know who--Oh, yes, right away."

"Mycroft?" John asks. He feels his lips twitch.


21.  Bonnie and Clyde II--Martina Sorbara

"And you’ll just capture me like it’s armed robbery.”

Sherlock cannot speak.

John will never stop enjoying the fact. "Well come on then, you better get your own disguise. You can add this to the 'things you don't know about me' file.'" John laughs and leaves Sherlock stuttering behind him.

22.  City of Night--Pink Martini

John knows at least 10 underground routes to get to his clinic at any hour of the day or night when he's late.  Unfortunately, so does Sherlock.

23.  So Political--Spirit of the West

"I thought you had some glimmer of intelligence John. My belief was obviously misplaced."

"So, the fact that you didn't bother to tell me your plan doesn't matter then? Of course, why would you bother telling an idiot anything! In that case, take some other bloody useless 'assistant' with you next time!" John throws the cup at Sherlock's head. Sherlock ducks just in time, too stunned to move. It shatters behind the sofa wall.

24.  Words--Darren Hayes

I see a bible in your eyes
All those codes and hidden meanings
Full of metaphor
and something for the faithless in me

"Sherlock, tell me what you need. You've barely moved in two days." John feels like he is going to shatter.

"Too much light. The owner of the backfiring car across the road is being defrauded by his mechanic, there isn't anything wrong with it. The woman down the hall is searching for her daughter but doesn't realise that her daughter lives two building's down and doesn't wish to be found. The leaking tap in the bathroom has eroded away part of the enamel and is rusting the iron underneath at the rate of a millimeter every month--I have a log of data on the subject. I..." Sherlock gasps and buries his head farther into the couch.

John closes the curtains, and turns off the overhead lights. He goes into the kitchen and turns down the dial in the fridge so it stops running. He takes the blanket from his bedroom and drapes it over Sherlock, touching his hand briefly as he does. Sherlock flinches, then grabs desperately for his hand.

25.  Silent My Song--Lykke Li

Like a work of art
When I'm your painting, I'm your treasure
Purest of them all
And call it love or call it murder
Kill me quietly
Close the door and take it further
Where no man has been

"Why don't you play some of Telemann's Les Gitans Baroque Sherlock? I know you are perfectly capable of playing well when you feel like it. And Mycroft isn't here." John smirks.

Sherlock leans out of his chair and pushes down the paper John is reading with his bow. "Exactly how did you know I enjoy Romany music John?"

"What, you think you are the only one who can make a deduction? The books on the shelves the day I moved in, I can hear you practicing at 3am, and contrary to popular belief I do know SOME classical music."

John smiles at the brief look of shock on Sherlock's face. And then watches it settle into something considering. John knows he's about to be grilled again.

"Off out Sherlock. Do what you want." John doesn't feel like explaining how he knows to read people. He slams the door behind him.

26.  Flames--Vast

He has tried to fold himself around it, as small as he could make it.  It seeps through him, until he cannot contain it. John thinks Sherlock knows. But then he thinks--why would he care?

27.  Mongrel Heart--Broken Bells

Would it be wrong
To clamp down on your racing heart?
And if they'd known, what sifted down to be found out?
It's not what you deserve

John limps through Hyde Park, leaning heavily on his cane. Light fog moves around his legs and over the path he is on. The structure of the world used to be important . It had to be in his family. John watches the fog between the trees, waiting for the light around him to fade.


28.  The Hunter Gets Captured by the Game--Massive Attack Feat. Tracey Thorn

Lightning flashes behind his eyes with each note he hears. Air is being drawn out through his skin--ice on fire. His heart and lungs are wrapped in wire, his bones shiver with the need to run down the stairs. Sherlock would tell him the 2 AM practice helps him think. John wants to tell Sherlock he's in the second circle of hell while listening to the repressed emotions coming through Sherlock's violin. Except then John would have to see the disdain on Sherlock's face when he confesses. So he endures.

29.  You and I--Jeff Buckley

Where you think you'll fall,
I adore you.
Where you shut your soul,
I will open for you.

"John. You haven't spoken to me at all today."

"Haven't I? Hadn't noticed." John sips his tea and turns a page. He can just see the tiny smile quirking Sherlock's lips. He doesn't react to it anymore.

30.  The Birds Will Still Be Singing--Elvis Costello and the Brodsky Quartet

Banish all dismay
Extinguish every sorrow
If I'm lost or I'm forgiven
The birds will still be singing

A pint is a fine thing. Makes you numb for a moment. There isn't enough slow poison in the world to kill what ails him. John supposes Harry would disagree with that. Something that isn't a smile spreads over his face, and the barman places another pint in front of him without asking.

31.  Wa Habibi (Beloved)--Kronos Quartet

The thing inside his chest isn't real. He knows it isn't. He thinks it must be something from a pocket dimension, since it's too much to keep in one body. You'd think something this significant would register. But with Sherlock, John is always wrong.


( 42 comments — Leave a comment )
May. 12th, 2011 10:03 am (UTC)
Wow, these bits of fic are absolutely stunning!

Could I trouble you for a zip of the mix? I only have a couple of the tracks and would love to have them all. I think you have my email address, but I'll give it to you again if you don't. I really want to read these again while listening to the mix. <3
May. 13th, 2011 02:46 am (UTC)
*blushes* Oh thanks. I sort of put them in the same universe as the other stories I have written about the two of them. Took me longer to write some of them than I thought, even though they are so short..lol

Oh sure, just let me put the songs in order..lol Most of them will be in windows media if that's ok, since I ripped the majority from cd using that. I think I still have your email address for gmail from the help Japan auction. I will send it to you shortly, I am thrilled that you liked it (I was worried of course..lol:)

Edited at 2011-05-13 02:57 am (UTC)
(no subject) - suchaprince - May. 13th, 2011 11:18 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - ciaranbochna - May. 14th, 2011 12:38 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - mad_teagirl - May. 14th, 2011 11:14 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - ciaranbochna - May. 14th, 2011 10:57 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - suchaprince - May. 18th, 2011 07:43 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - ciaranbochna - May. 18th, 2011 09:08 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - suchaprince - May. 18th, 2011 09:59 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - ciaranbochna - May. 19th, 2011 01:23 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - suchaprince - May. 19th, 2011 10:29 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - ciaranbochna - May. 20th, 2011 01:57 am (UTC) - Expand
May. 13th, 2011 05:34 am (UTC)

I actually teared up. I can't believe I help inspire this, it's some of the most amazing flattery I've gotten ... ever. I haven't gotten a chance to read the ficlets yet, but you had me at Edgar Allen Poe. I would love a zip too.
May. 13th, 2011 06:11 am (UTC)
Oh dear, I am glad you are happy, and it is absolutely true about the inspiration:) As I told suchaprince I broke down and signed up for sendspace since the file was just too damn big for email..lol

Oh I know, Edgar Allen Poe and Jeff..I almost collapsed on the spot when I first heard it.


Edited at 2011-05-13 05:45 pm (UTC)
(no subject) - mad_teagirl - May. 14th, 2011 11:15 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - ciaranbochna - May. 14th, 2011 10:59 pm (UTC) - Expand
May. 18th, 2011 12:00 pm (UTC)
So I whipped this up as far as cover art, let me know if you like it

clicking it goes to the bigger version

Edited at 2011-05-18 12:01 pm (UTC)
May. 18th, 2011 05:43 pm (UTC)
*flails* And how did you know I love sepia-toned photos? It looks perfect, right down to the pensive look on John's face and the stained background:) Thank you so much for doing this!
(no subject) - mad_teagirl - May. 18th, 2011 11:09 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - ciaranbochna - May. 19th, 2011 01:20 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - mad_teagirl - May. 19th, 2011 04:58 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - ciaranbochna - May. 20th, 2011 01:51 am (UTC) - Expand
May. 19th, 2011 05:12 pm (UTC)
That is an astounding collection of really grand music. And the cover are it just gorgeous :D Thank you so much for sharing :)
May. 19th, 2011 07:04 pm (UTC)
I am thrilled that you enjoyed it! All credit for art goes to mad_teagirl though, she is just brilliant:)
May. 19th, 2011 09:53 pm (UTC)
Oh, these ficlets are amazing. I don't often listen to fanmixes, but I think I have to make an exception in this case.
May. 20th, 2011 01:49 am (UTC)
*blushes* I hope you enjoy the music, and thank you so much!
May. 20th, 2011 03:53 am (UTC)
This is simply magnificent. ♥
May. 20th, 2011 05:28 am (UTC)
I...oh my. Thank you!
May. 20th, 2011 01:46 pm (UTC)
I'm excited to see this, as I'm looking for some new music to listen to when writing. Vast! Kronos Quartet! Your fic bits are lovely, and I'll go back to reread once I've heard the accompanying songs. I particularly liked the drabbles with 25 and 28.
May. 20th, 2011 10:28 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoy it once you listen:)
(Deleted comment)
May. 21st, 2011 06:59 pm (UTC)
Oh my, thank you *blushes* It is wonderful to hear that it rang true to you. I am slightly anxious about the next part, I hope it meets expectations..lol
(Deleted comment)
May. 25th, 2011 04:18 pm (UTC)
Well thank you, I appreciate the feedback:) The bits of fic are below the songs, but you are certainly welcome to read anything else, just follow the tags on the side. Most of it is related anyway..lol
May. 26th, 2011 02:45 pm (UTC)
Oh the bits of fic are lovely, I can't wait to listen to the mix to get the full feel!
May. 30th, 2011 06:40 am (UTC)
lovely. simply lovely.
May. 30th, 2011 06:55 am (UTC)
Thank you, I am glad you enjoyed it:)
Jun. 2nd, 2011 04:33 am (UTC)
...wow! O.O This is amazing, you know that, right? *off to download*
Jun. 2nd, 2011 05:49 am (UTC)
Err, I know of no such thing, but I am glad you like it:) The second part has become something of a monster, which I suppose is fitting considering it is Sherlock..lol

Also, have a Dean Mix link. They were sweet enough to do my old Dean one, and the Cas is on the way:) You just need to join the spn_fanmix community to see it, which takes a second.

(no subject) - caffienekitty - Jun. 11th, 2011 08:17 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - ciaranbochna - Jun. 11th, 2011 09:40 pm (UTC) - Expand
Jun. 30th, 2011 09:57 am (UTC)
wow this looks amazing!
Jun. 30th, 2011 03:01 pm (UTC)
Thank you, I hope you enjoy it:)

Love the Nightwing icon btw;)
(no subject) - miki_moo - Jul. 1st, 2011 11:27 pm (UTC) - Expand
( 42 comments — Leave a comment )


Loki Yggdrasil

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